Rent A Date For Charity

Thursday 19 June 2008: Why are there Haters in this World?

Whilst I was on holiday in Portugal I had a phone call from my friend Clare, she was looking after my house for me. She told me that I had received a letter from the Job Centre stating that they required to see me for an interview as a matter of urgency as some information had been received that I was claiming benefits fraudulently.

My initial reaction was gob smacked. I couldn’t believe I had received such a letter. I have never once in my life committed any kind of fraud nor have I ever been in trouble with the police for anything. To think that somebody had gone to them to say that I was fraudulently claiming benefits was unthinkable. I have been claiming benefits since the moment I found out about my tumour and I fell ill. I have never wanted to claim benefits nor am I able to live off the amount of money that comes off these benefits. As I have a an illness which is terminal l am awarded all kinds of benefits such as income support, incapacity, disability, you name it, I get. Its quite disgusting really the fact that I am actually better off now than I would have been in a normal job.

I opened my company in October 2007. I have always used this company for the purpose of raising money for charity. At no point have any funds been transferred to my own personal account and this was proven today. I wanted to make the story clear on my blog as there seem to be some haters in this world. I don’t know what I have done that people would think that I am misleading them or that I am doing anything to suggest otherwise.

My aim from this website would be to eventually earn a living from it and to make the charities £1 million as stated in all my correspondence and media. Once the site receives enough funding to be able to cover and bills I would then be taking a salary. I want to also make this clear, I will notify people when they register and in my terms and conditions that this will be the case as and when this arises. However, all revenue from my site is all going to charity profit related. Other funds received are then used to pay for the site, to pay for the running costs, to pay for the administration, to pay for the bills that accumulate and this doesn’t come cheap. I am getting myself in debt and struggling each week to get by to do this but this is my baby and this is what I have set out to do. This is my purpose.

I don’t believe that what this person has done is wrong, at the end of the day if I had fraudulently claimed then that would have been the right thing to do. I also want to make it clear that I don’t care what people think or what people say or what people do. I know that what I am doing is for good and I know that what I am doing is benefiting people. I have already come across a couple of people since opening up the site that are destined to try and ruin things. They will not succeed, I assure you. I am the most straightest person, the most person there is possibly going, too honest for my own good. So whoever that was please bear in mind, you will not stop me or my quest for brain tumour awareness and you will not stop me in my tracks to do good for others.

So I went to the Job Centre today, I had everything in hand. The lady I spoke to there was very nice. We had a conversation, I gave her documents they asked for and that was the end of that. They knew by what I had shown them that there was absolutely nothing incriminating. The documents that I produced are documents which charities are able to see. I am not a charity, I don’t need to show these documents to anyone but I wish to do so because I know that what I am doing is of good. So far I have raised just over £13,000. I started this business just over 6 months ago. This business has a lot more money to offer charities and a lot more awareness campaign projects going on. I will do everything in my power to make sure that this happens.

The rest of the day was pretty much the same as usual. I came straight home and continued my work. I have so much work to do and I am going for a wedding tomorrow. My best friend Eleanor is getting married in the morning. Ding Dong the bells are going to shine!

Clare and I are staying in a hotel in Aylesbury for the night so that we can enjoy the evening. I will be coming back on Saturday and then Sunday I am off to an adventure holiday with lots of cancer patients. I am really looking forward to it, it will be good to meet people in my circumstance. It is not often you get to talk with people who are going through similar things and what a way to do it. I am going with a company called Odyssey. They are a charity and they have been very supportive towards me.

It’s a fun filled couple of weeks ahead. As soon as I get back from the adventure holiday with Odyssey I will be going to Glastonbury Festival and then I am back for my radiotherapy.

I ate the left over Chinese this evening for dinner. It tastes so much better when you have it the next day. Why is that? The one good thing that happened today was that I had an email from a lady called Liz. She told me that her son Rafe Walker was diagnosed with an Aqueductal Stenosis which is caused by a brain tumour. Whilst Liz was Googling inoperable brain tumours on the Internet she came across my site. She decided to email me and inform me of her sons situation. Rafe is 8 years old. He has an inoperable tumour at the centre of his brain. He is now on close observation for 3 months and he has another MRI Scan booked in for August. Liz was explaining that they were at total loss as to what to do as they seemed to be between departments (neurology and oncology). At the moment the neurologist will not do a biopsy, this was too dangerous and the oncologist won’t offer radiation without a biopsy. So, Liz was explaining how they were caught in the middle and how frustrating it was. She also said that she was thankful that she came across my site and realised that Rafe was not the only one in this situation.

Rafe has set up his own website to help and inspire others, www.rafesbrainproblems.moonfruit.com.

When I took a look at Rafe’s website I was absolutely overwhelmed. I had tears in my eyes but a the same time I was laughing. This boy was cheeky, I knew it. After a few more emails received from Liz, Rafe asked his mum to leave a message through the email for me saying “Please enter some more diary entries onto your blog, I want to read all about what you have been up to!” It made me chuckle, this 8 year old boy has got character!

Its now ten past eleven, although today has been an up and down day I have not been feeling great either. I am looking forward to tomorrow so that I can let my hair down quite literally with my new extensions ha ha ha! I need to pack first thing in the morning ready for Sunday and I need to pack my stuff first thing in the morning to go away tomorrow. Knowing me I will take the biggest suitcase with things that I won’t need but hey, I am a girl what do you expect?

Wednesday 18 June 2008: A New Employee

Again I got up early today, my headache seemed to have chilled off a bit. I had an interview booked in at 11 o’clock for a guy called David. He was coming over to be interviewed for the position of Web Designer. I have been spending so much money on web design. It just seems silly that I was paying out all this money when the money could be used more effectively by going to the charities and other awareness campaigns. I knew I needed more staff and for a while now I have been advertising on gumtree.com for volunteers. I employed a couple of volunteers before I went away one of which was supposed to be full time but unfortunately due to other work commitments hasn’t done anything whilst I have been away. This was a bit gutting because I now had to catch up on everything and I had even more things to do before I go away again on Sunday but hey, such is life and we have to move on and get on.

At 11 o’clock David had came round and we had his interview. I knew he was more than capable for the position and we filled the deal there and then. David would be employed on voluntary basis on his own time working on my html website and my auction site software. The first thing I gave him as project was to work on my index page which is the main front page of my site. What I have been doing is always update it myself but as I will be going in for radiotherapy soon I needed somebody else to take charge. His first role will be to update the index page with the current celebrity dates. I want things to be animated so that they are scrolling across the page, I want them to look more professional. At the moment they are scattered around. Although it still looks good its still not up to my standards and me being me I have high standards.

The rest of the day was pretty spent working away. Clare came round again and we got a takeaway for dinner. We then got an early night, I was absolutely shattered a full day of work and it was killing me, my headache had come back again. I am sick of these headaches, they are starting to do me in and they are stopping me from doing what I am supposed to be doing and that is working and achieving my goal.

'I want to raise £1 million before i die'

 

23 June 2008 90p

Terminally Ill Lisa Connell isn't the type to sit around and complain...

'I hated the thought of having to wear glasses.  I was 27 years old with a packed social life and a great job in property.  It sounds vain, but glasses weren't part of the plan.

I'd been getting bouts of double vision and staggering around as if I was drunk.  I ignored it all at first, but after I fell over in the street and smashed my front teeth I felt I needed an optician.

But as I tested different lenses in Specsavers, none of them seemed to help.  The optician reckoned I could have a muscle problem but decided to send me to London's Moorfields Eye Hospital for an MRI scan.

I wasn't too worried.  I'd recently split up with my partner and I assumed I was justed stressed.  when I went back a week later for the results of the scan there was a mix-up.  First, a doctor said it was a muscular problem, which came as a huge relief. 'But what about the scan?' I asked.

'Er, what scan?' came the reply.  He hadn't even realised I'd had one!

He went back into the office and suddenly there was a lot of commotion.  A senior doctor was called, and when they came back there looked very serious.

'We have some bad news, I’m afraid,' he said. 'You have a brain tumour.'

I became totally hysterical.  One minute they'd said I was fine, now this. 'I'm going to die, I'm going to die,' was all I could think.

The doctor explained that the type of tumour I had was benign and small, but in time it would grow bigger and become malignant.  Due to its position in my head, and its shape, it was inoperable.  There wasn't anything they could do.  I was told to come back in six months for a check-up.

I staggered home in disbelief.  I told my parents and spent a few days in tears.  when the shock had worn off I got a second opinion which, sadly,, confirmed what I already knew.  The tumour couldn’t be removed.  It was now a question of how fast it was going to grow.

My health was deteriorating.  I often collapsed.  I found it hard to walk, and got very depressed - there were moments when I thought about ending it all.

My friends didn’t know what to say and I felt some people were avoiding me.  I also got really bad mood swings which didn’t make me easy to be around.

My turning point came when I talked to a  friend of my dad’s.  Tony had the same type of tumour as me, but was living a relatively normal life.  He encouraged me to get fit and eat well, so I could manage my symptoms better.

My dad signed me up to a gym and I trained with a fitness instructor who helped me work on my balance.  I had to retrain my brain to get my co-ordination back.

The results were amazing.  In a few weeks I was back on my feet, feeling much better.

I’d had to give up my job, but I was keen to keep my mind stimulated.  I looked into ways of raising money for brain tumour charities - Id been so shocked at the lack of support offered to patients like me.

I started a website, called rentadatecorcharity.com auctioning off dates with celebs.  It's been a huge success.  I managed to raise £12,000 in six months.

I still have plenty of bad days.  When I’m stressed the tumour swells and I get terrible headaches.  further tests show that its growing but slowly now.  I’m currently looking at a new type of radiotherapy treatment called Gamma Knife, but it’s unlikely I’ll get it via the NHS.

Doctors can’t tell me how much time I have left.

It could be months or years, so I’m just trying to make each day count.'

DATING FOR CHARITY

Lisa’s celebrity dating website, rentadateforcharity.com has been extremely successful.  Stars like model Sophie Anderton and Corrie’s Dev have volunteered to take part, and Lisa ultimately aims to raise £1 million for tumour victims.  ‘It's great fun, but it takes up so much time and energy that I’m hiring staff to help me out,’ says brave Lisa, who doesn’t know how long she has left to live.

Tuesday 17 June 2008: A Day at Antenna Hair Salon

I woke up rather early today, I was anxious to get on and work. Whilst I was away, I had emailed a couple of companies because I wanted to get some hair extensions. One of the companies came back to me and offered me free hair extensions in return for advertising on my site, I can’t go wrong.

Antenna Hair Salon is one of London’s most famous and unique hair extension salons owned by the legendary Simon Forbes. Simon Forbes invented the first hair extensions on the high street starting with dreadlocks for European hair made out of mono fibre. I was so happy that I was finally able to get my hair extensions and not use real hair. I would never wish to do this, not after everything I heard and read about with Victoria Beckham’s hair do.

My appointment was at 12 o’clock. I was running late as I had lots of work to catch up on and me being me woke up early to start on things right away. We arrived in Knightsbridge just on time. I went with my friend Clare. Clare Brand is a photographer and has just started to do her own project as she has been assisting for years. Clare was due to do her own project from another firm another the following day so I thought this would be brilliant practice for her to take some pictures of me having my hair extensions done in the salon and then we could publicize them on my site or my blog, etc.

I had a senior stylist, Nacho doing my hair. He had his assistant with him as well. I had such a fun time, they are really a good crowd and the whole place is just amazing. The building itself is just beautiful, something out of the olden time. This salon has many celebrities going through it, the likes of Jade Goody, Kate Moss, Roxy from EastEnders plus many more. They also mentioned to me, having been a big fan of Phil Collins that the band members WYFEF from Genesis all go there to have theirs done too. I felt like a celebrity if only for a few hours. They gave us some wine whilst we were sitting there and unbeknown to Nacho after a few sips I was pissed already. Clare took some amazing pictures, she really knew how to get the light right and I was amazed at what she had done. They finished my hair and gave me a massive goody bag with lots of shampoos, conditioners, treatments and hair brushes. I couldn’t believe my luck! I had never been given anything for free before in my life. This was obviously the first of what was to come! I cant wait, bring it on!

We left the salon and within minutes my head erupted, I had the biggest migraine ever. I knew that drinking that wine probably didn’t help as it was during the day. Clare drove at the time, I really wasn’t feeling too good. When we got home I really had to lie down. I spent the rest of the evening in front of the TV in my bed watching EastEnders or catching up on all the episodes I had missed. I fell asleep again quite early. I drank as much water as I could but even then my headache was still bad. I knew that having had two weeks of touch and go headaches, that this was just the stout of things to come.

 

Monday 16 June 2008: Finally Heading Home

I spent the last two weeks and three days sitting on the beach in Praia Da Luz in Algarve in Portugal. I came out here not too long ago with my dad and my family and met really nice people whilst I was out here. What better place to spend doing your work in the comfort of sun, sea, sand and I wont say the rest. I left this morning at 8 o’clock to head for the airport and one of the local bar men offered to give me a lift. Saying goodbye was very hard. I had made some really good friends over there and I would miss this place. I won’t bore you with all the details of my long working holiday but what I will say was that I had fun. I had lots of time on my own, lots of time to think, lots of time to analyze and lots of time to read. I was given a book by my life coach, Mel. She gave me this book and said I had to read it. When she gave me this book I had no idea that I would actually get into it, I thought I wouldn’t read it at all. I was determined that I would for the sake of reading it but unfortunately I am not the best person when it comes to reading books and I normally get bored very easily. However, it took me one day lying on the beach to read this. It called Mind Power Into the 21^st Century by John Kehoe.

This book teaches you how to harness the powers of your subconscious mind, how to tap into your creativity, how to successfully use visualization techniques, improve your self image, interpret your dreams, heal yourself and develop a "Prosperity Consciousness", build and maintain fulfilling relationships. I have never read a book that had gripped me so much, everything he said was true. There was a child in this book who told a story of how he had a tumour in his head and how using his mind he visualized his immune system as powerful. It was a Star Wars like visualization. He saw his brain as the solar system and his tumour as the evil invading villains. He visualized himself as the leader of the space fighter squadron fighting the tumour and winning. “Garret, (which is his name) used the technique for 20 minutes each night. At first the technique worsened and then it gradually began to get better. 5 months later a brain scan was taken then the tumour was gone.” The visualization technique was the only therapy employed after it had been concluded that the radiation therapy had failed.

Everyone is different and this book explains that the techniques which this boy used worked for Garret Potter but it might not be appropriate for everyone. Sometimes a much gentler approach is needed. The stories in this book were inspirational, I am a very strong believer in mind power and I am a very strong believer that if you set your mind to something that you can do it. So, since reading this book I spent everyday, 20 minutes of the day on the beach visualizing my tumour as a big mass of dirt and I was visualizing myself hovering this massive dirt with a vacuum cleaner inside my brain. I used this sort of technique everyday. I don’t know if it will work but if the book says it can who knows, I am willing to try anything.

The Journey home was short. I was longing to get home to see my family and also my dog Princess. I have missed everyone, I do miss everyone now more so now than I have ever have done. I think it is because I appreciate the time I spent with them. I arrived at the airport and my mum and her friend Lisa arrived to pick me up. My mum had borrowed my car for a couple of weeks so I drove home. I got home and unpacked my things. My friend Clare had stayed in my house looking after it for me. It was nice to see everyone. A friend of mine, Mel came round to see me as well. We had a good catch up, we were due to go to Glastonbury Festival together in a couple of weeks with one of the winning bidders on the site. He had won myself and Mel on a date and so he was taking us to Glastonbury for 3 days. I can’t wait!

I pretty much had an early night as I had been spending most of my time in a single bed and it wasn’t the most comfortable bed on holiday and I hadn’t slept much at all. Although I wasn’t partying whilst I was out there, I was so tire and I think everything had just caught up on me. So the whole holiday was a relaxation one although I didn’t sleep much.

DATE A CELEBRITY One woman's way to raise money for brain tumour victims

 

EVERY TIME I go to the hospital, I ask my neurosurgeon when I’m going to die.  He says he can’t tell me anything but just sit, wait and see.” So says Lisa Connell, a young woman living with a brain tumour.

 

To a casual observer, this pretty North Londoner with her glossy hair and clear skin looks like she has everything to live for.

 

“They say it’s benign, but mine’s inoperable.  They shouldn’t say benign, as they use this in a very broad term and mine will get to the stage when it will do what a cancerous tumour does.”

 

When she was diagnosed with the tumour in August 2006, this 29-year old freely admits she didnt handle it very well.  “For three moths I really deteriorated.  I couldn’t walk or talk.  Basically I had given up on myself.”

 

Then a chance meeting with her father’s friend who had also been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour ten years ago and given just six months to live gave her the impetus to kick her despair.

 

“I believe the mind is a very powerful thing.” States Lisa.  And with her renewed belief in herself, she went to the gym with the aid of her father and built up her strength again.  (In just under two months she had achieved what her coach had said she’d achieve in six.)  This rejuvenated outlook on life inspired her to take part in a 10k race in July last year.  “It's one of my biggest achievements.”

 

Afterwards, with her desire to live a normal life again, she set herself a challenge to raise a £1 million to help brain tumour charities.

 

Her focus is now a website called RentADateForCharity.com.  Since setting it up in October, she’s been auctioning dates with herself – she’s been wined and dined by a prince who lives in Dubai – and she has generated celebrity auctions from the likes of supermodel Sophie Anderton and Coronation Streets Dev (Jimmi Harkishin), Cheryl Baker, a couple of Big Brother contestants, and TV presenter Donatella Panayiotou (Young Posh & Loaded).  Some celebrities have offered the use of their holiday homes or VIP backstage passes to be auctioned instead.

 

The list and types of dates have been endless and it’s not just the well-heeled and B-list celebrities that are attracted to her website.  Its gradually becoming a social network in its own right and registration is free.

 

“There are just so many ways of using the website and helping the cause,” says Lisa.  “I’ve had mums auctioning themselves for coffee mornings, and there’s one guy who just donated £1,000 to my company.  He also regularly bids on the auctioneers.”

 

And it’s not just the users that are benefiting from the website – its charities too.

 

“My terms and conditions state that brain tumour charities will benefit from the overall profits that the company receives and 75 per cent of the net bids on celebrity auctions.”  She explains.  And cannily, she also allows other charities to register their websites for exposure but they don’t receive a penny from the overall profits, only from the celebrity auctions they refer.

 

“Say for example, Breast Cancer UK could get Kylie Minogue,” hypothesises Lisa.  “That charity would receive 75 per cent of that particular auction and the remaining 25 per cent will be used to help with the campaign for brain tumour awareness.”

 

Naturally, this entrepreneur has patented her site and it has bidders and charities from all over the world logging on.  Its success has been from word of mouth via Facebook and MySpace and Lisa is organising it all from her home in Southgate.

 

“When it comes to running the site and chasing the celebrities to get involved, it’s all down to me.  There is a team, in the sense I’ve got my agents who help me out.  But when it comes to running the site, chasing celebrities and vetting the dates, that is done by me.  And it’s not cheap.

 

“I’m always working out ways to sponsor the celebrity dates.  For example, I’ve just got a bowling company to sponsor the twins from Big Brother (Sam and Amanda Marchant) because they wanted to go bowling on their date.  The firms got its logo going on the website for free as a reward for its sponsorship, so it’s great publicity for it”.

 

With her wipe board of ‘to do’ lists and computer that is constantly blipping in her home, Lisa’s determination is matched by her passion for the business.  Before the tumour, she worked in property management.

 

“I want to make it clear I’m not a charity.  This is a company that donates its profits to brain tumour charities,” she enthuses.  “I work seven days a week, probably 18 hours a day.  I don’t sleep much because the doctors have told me that most brain tumour sufferers die in their sleep, plus I find it hard to sleep when there is so much to do.”

 

There is a price to pay for Lisa’s non-stop dynamism and it becomes apparent when she calls to cancel the photo shoot.  “I’ve picked up a bug,” she apologises profusely.

 

Lisa has a meningioma brain tumour – a benign tumour of the membranes that form the brain coverings.  Its positioned in the middle of her brain, but it’s not a lump.  It’s a mass of tumourous cells that are carpeting out and attaching themselves to her nerves.

 

“Its inoperable because if they tried to remove it I would be left paralysed or brain dead.”  So when she gets ill, the tumour swells and pushes on the nerves.  At Christmas, she was completely paralysed from the hip down, just because she had been struck by a common cold.

 

Although meningioma is known to be slow growing, Lisa’s tumour has increased by about three per cent in the past year.  She has started to get palsy in the left side of her face and the tumour has spread to her left ear.

 

She has been offered two types of radiotherapy treatment: Gamma Knife and Stereotactic.  She’d prefer the former as it’s just a quick burst of radioactivity rather than the latter, which involves a series of visits.  However, her tumour is slightly too big for the former treatments recommended size although the surgeons are willing to try it.  The decisions ultimately up to Lisa but she can’t make an informed choice because the doctors can’t tell her if it will be a success or not.

Cancer Patients Denied Wonder Drugs

 

 

 

CANCER patients in Islington are being denied a host of "very exciting" drugs proven to shrink tumours and prolong life - because the Primary Care Trust (PCT) says they cost too much.

In the last year, 10 patients have been turned down for drugs to fight forms of the disease including lung cancer, bowel cancer and leukaemia.

Islington PCT is allowed to offer the drugs by the government and other authorities around the country frequently do.

But Islington's "exceptional treatments panel", whose role is to weigh up the cost, said no.

One of the so-called "miracle drugs" denied to residents was Avastin, used to treat bowel cancer.

Lynne Winderer, who is dying from the disease and paying for the drug privately, told the Gazette how it had changed her life.

She said: "I have terminal cancer but Avastin is controlling it. It is extending my life and adding to my quality of life. I am reasonably healthy and it has not had side effects. I am proof that Avastin works. It is disgraceful that it is being denied to people in Islington."

Munira Wilson, spokeswoman for Beating Bowel Cancer said: "It is a scandal that bowel cancer patients in Islington are being denied Avastin which could stop further advancing of their cancer and lengthen their life.

"The value placed on their lives seems to be so minimal."

Ian Beaumont, of Bowel Cancer UK, said: "It is always disappointing when we hear of a PCT denying treatment that could help a patient to live a longer and better life.

"Appealing decisions is lengthy and distressing. In view of its effectiveness and benefit, we believe Avastin should be available on the NHS."

Also denied to Islington residents were the leukaemia drugs Dasatinib and Lenalidomide.

Expert Ken Campbell, of Leukaemia Research, said: "There is no question that Dasatinib works. The clinical evidence is strong. It can't cure it altogether but it can arrest the progress of the disease completely. There are incurable patients who started on it 10 years ago still alive today."

He added: "There is very exciting evidence that Lenalidomide works. It is a shame if these drugs are being denied on monetary grounds."

Lung cancer drug Tarceva was denied to two Islington residents.

Ciaran Devane, chief executive of cancer charity Macmillan, said: "Lung cancer is a devastating disease with few treatment options. Tarceva provides another option and gives patients extra time which can be extremely valuable to them and their families."

Lisa Connell, who has terminal brain cancer, called on Islington PCT to give the drugs to all residents.

She said: "What these people are going through is stressful enough. The drugs are out there. If people aren't getting them what was the point in inventing them?"

An Islington PCT spokeswoman said: "Drugs may be funded via the exceptional treatment panel if they are recommended by a GP or hospital consultant. All applications are considered by experts who have access to a range of medical advice.

"The panel ensures that health resources are put to the best possible use in the borough. The decision process is extremely rigorous, looking at the effectiveness, efficiency, and cost of each treatment request.

nlnews@archant.co.uk

29 May 2008: Snowed Under

I was up early again this morning. This early mornings and really late “unsleepable” nights are really starting to get to me. I actually cant wait for tomorrow to fly off to Portugal and be in for a chance of relaxing for a change.

I had a nail appointment at 10 o’clock; I treat myself every two weeks to have my nails done. As soon as I finished my nail appointment I was due to pick Natalie up, my new part time employee but unfortunately she was taken ill and had to go to the doctors so my day of training was cancelled.   In a way I was quite relieved because there was just so much to do and I didn’t know where to begin. I went to the phone shop and had one of my phones unblocked so that my friend could use it whilst he was abroad. I then got home and as soon as I got home I had a phone call from an interviewee. She wasn’t feeling too well either and we had to cancel the evening’s appointment. Again I was quite relieved; this gave me more time to catch up on things that needed doing before I got away.

I did two telephone interviews today one of which I employed. Her name is Anna, she seems really nice. I can’t wait to start working with everyone together when I get back. It’s a shame I am away for so long with one thing or another but at least I know that I have got a team starting to be built and hopefully some progression being made on the sides because for me that is definitely an achievement.

I have finished off packing this evening, it took me hours to iron everything. At about half past ten I ordered a pizza between me and Claire. We are so hungry, I haven’t even eaten the whole day. I don’t know where time goes, I get so busy that I forget to eat. It is not something I do on purpose, its just time.

Its now half past eleven I am off to bed. Hopefully Bobby will give me a quick call once he has finished his karaoke. He does karaoke night once a week at the resort that I am going to in Portugal.

Really looking forward to the trip tomorrow, I just cant wait to get there.

28 May 2008: Training Day

Today had to be one of the longest days on record. I woke up early, tidied up the house and went on straight to the computer to carry on with some work. I really got loads on and I really want to get things done so that I can leave on Friday with peace of mind. I went to pick up Natalie, my part-time PR, marketing and events organiser from Totteridge and Whetstone Station. We made our way back to my home where Natalie sat on the laptop and I sat on my desktop and we went through all the basic training so that Natalie would be able to carry on without me whilst I was away.

Natalie was learning fast, she has great knowledge in her field and I was very happy to have her on board. I have been very crapped today like I wasn’t even on the planet. I had to take some tablets last night coz I wasn’t feeling well either and when I woke up this morning I was sick. It has really been a bad day but I had to get through it because I had so much to do.

I had a phone call today from a lady called Susan who used to be a broadcaster on Radio 5 Live and many other channels. She called me because my mum had met a guy from the BBC who had forwarded all the details to Susan and asked her to get involved. My mum is so amazing! She does so much work for me. I give her my cards and she hands them out everywhere she goes. I absolutely adore her for the efforts she puts in. Susan sent through her details to me ready to go up on the auction. I am not able to put her on at the moment. I am just far too busy but when I get a moment once I get to Portugal, I will put her up and Natalie will do all the PR work for her.

Natalie worked on the PR for Nick Thomas-Webster and Jo Hemmings today. I felt really comfortable with the fact that my business is going to grow quite fast and very soon. We finished at about 6 o’clock and I took Natalie back to the station.

I came straight back home and started packing. I have only got today to pack because tomorrow I have Natalie back in for training. I have got a few errands to do and I will also be interviewing a fulltime PR and events organiser tomorrow evening. I really want to try and get an early night tomorrow. I am just watching Desperate Housewives now and dying to get an early night tonight. I have so much to do tomorrow but at least I know that on Friday I will be able to relax a bit more once I get to Portugal.

Spoke to Bobby today, getting really excited can’t wait to get over there. We have got a fun filled packed two weeks. I extended my holiday from 10 days to two weeks. Although it is not a holiday as such because I will be working whilst he is working. At least we will get to spend time together and we can get to know each other a little bit more. Bobby was the guy I met in Portugal when I was out there with my dad. You never know what will happen. All I know right now is my heart is there and if my heart is there, then I might as well just go and just see what happens. No harm will be done in doing that. For now I am off to bed, shattered but I am going to try sleeping pills tonight. I really don’t want to get into a habit of getting into a cycle of using sleeping tablets. Its not good for me or anyone else.

Oh! And I forgot to mention, how could forget when that’s all that’s been playing on my mind! I had a call today from Barnet Primary Care Trust. We have been chasing them for the past week to authorise funding for my Gamma Knife which apparently might not have been covered by the NHS. I am going to go to Gamma Knife, they confirmed it today. The funding has been granted and I will be in on 17^th June the day after I get back from Portugal. I guess the two week break could do me some good but I am not looking forward to the fact that my schedule is so busy for the following month once I get back. I have my radiotherapy booked in on the 17^th June with an overnight stay in day care the following day. Then I come home for a day, rest, then the following day its my best friend Eleanor’s wedding who is getting married to Dave. I have to go, I really cant wait to be there. I just hope I am on good form. Even if I am not I will get somebody else to drive, I am not missing that for the world.

After the wedding, two days later I go on an adventure week holiday with Odyssey which is a charity that supports those who are suffering from illnesses to have a week away in each others company on an adventure holiday. I don’t know where we are going to go, all I know is that it is in the UK and I have been told what to bring in my suitcase. So, I am there for a week providing all is well and I am not suffering too much from my radiotherapy. But something tells me I not going to be able to make it. I really do hope I can go, I have been looking forward to this for the past year plus I will get to meet some very interesting people.

The day I come back from the adventure holiday, I am due to drive back to London to pick up Mel and we are off to Glastonbury Festival. Jim, a guy that bid for me on the auction offered for us to go there. He also won Melissa so we are going to Glastonbury together and he is paying for it. I can’t wait, I have never been to a festival and it was on my to-do list. Well, well, such is life. It’s a hard life being me but hey! I am loving every minute even though I am absolutely worn out.

27 May 2008: Tuesday

I got up quite early this morning as I had a contractor coming round at 9 o’clock to replace my front door. He turned up rather late but once he got here I headed off to get a few bits to put on the front door such as my number and my door knocker.

I had quite a lot of work to do today. I have only a few more days before I leave for Portugal and I needed to make sure that everything was up to date on both my computer and my laptop so that everything was transferable as well for my new trainee.

I had an appointment at my doctor’s at 4.30pm so I went along to my doctor’s to go and get my latest prescriptions. That consisted of Cocordamol headache tablets and my sleeping pills. I needed to make sure that I was well stocked up coz I wouldn’t be able to get back to the doctor’s for at least 6 weeks now. My schedule is so hectic.

I got quite a lot of work done today. Claire came round about 9 o’clock and we had some food. I worked to probably around 11 or 12 o’clock and then went to bed. I was absolutely knackered.

26 May 2008: Bank Holiday Monday

My alarm went off at 9 o’clock this morning, I knew I had to get up because I had the photographer from WOMAN magazine coming at 12pm. I still had the floor to clean and I needed to organise my outfit to change into for the photo shoot.

Anthony, the photographer from WOMAN magazine turned up on time. Clare my friend who had stayed over with me last night and had helped me to finish with all the cleaning. This morning, she finished all the cleaning whilst I got ready. Anthony came in and set up his lights and then prepared for the photo shoot. He was very nice man and easy to talk to. I was a little nervous, although I have had a few photo shoots I still don’t find it comes natural even though I did do modelling until I was 12 years old but still I am older now but still I have my reservations .

The photo shoot lasted a couple of hours. I went from a casual outfit; jeans, my red vest and some shoes into my red ball gown two piece set which I bought from a charity shop £10, I love a bargain!

Anthony showed me some of the pictures on his camera. He said that I could use them in the future providing I put his name to all the pictures, pretty much what I did with the ELLE magazine shoot by Elisabeth Hoff who was the photographer on that shoot.

We finished the shoot at about 2 o’clock. I needed to get some photographs of my home onto the internet because I am applying for a home exchange. I have Council accommodation and although it is one bedroom, it is really not ideal considering that I work from home too. So instead of in the future just buying a one bedroom bungalow, I am hoping I might just have to exchange with the Council for either a two bed or more and then buy that place providing that all goes well. The place was clean and tidy and it was an ample opportunity to take these pictures. We took some good pictures and put them on the net.

About 4 o’clock we rushed to Asda to get some shopping. I needed to get bits for my holiday and also promised Bobby that I would get him some toiletries. Its so expensive in Portugal just to buy a shampoo would probably cost you £4. We rushed around Asda and I couldn’t help but buy a couple of bikinis which were only £3 each in George, what a bargain! Clare was admiring all the single men that happened to be in Asda that day. She was surprised that going shopping could be a dating thing.

Finally I have got home. As soon as I got home I had so much work to do. I sat on my computer and I am here now until 12.20am and I still haven’t yet finished. Tomorrow is a new day, I was supposed to be training my first employee but I am having to go to the doctors. I have not been feeling so well this weekend and seeing as I am going on holiday on Friday I need to stock up on my medication. My medication consists of headache tablets and sleeping tablets, that’s all. I don’t take any steroids, its not good for me and they don’t nearly work anyway. So, instead of training her tomorrow I will go to the doctors and I will complete all my tasks that I will need to do before I train her on Tuesday.

25 May 2008: Bank Holiday Sunday

Woke up this morning about 11 o’clock, probably the latest I have slept in for a very long time. I had one of my sleeping tablets last night coz I was finding it very hard to sleep.

Having spent all day yesterday cleaning the house after being invaded by ants I was shattered but I knew I still had to continue. I had started in the kitchen yesterday and I still wasn’t finished. I had the whole of the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom and the living room still to do so I ploughed on.

Shabana came round at around 2 o’clock to give me a helping hand. By that time I had already got the kitchen done and had already started on the bathroom. I asked Shabana to help me out with my filing. Since starting the business my paperwork was everywhere I needed to get some organisation into my life and Shabana was here to lend a helping hand. I had untold paperwork from outstanding bills to receipts to personnel files I was creating for new staff. I am so excited that now I have finally got volunteers to help me with my campaign for Brain Tumour Awareness and help make this business a successful one at that.

We ordered enough take away pizza. I didn’t really have time to eat at all, there was too much to do but I carried on anyway. I finished off some email, I have done a couple of updates on the site and then went to bed about 12 o’clock. I lay down to watch Kate and Peter the next chapter, I know I am going to be falling asleep fairly soon.

Tomorrow is a very exciting day, I have got a photographer coming from WOMAN magazine to take some pictures. I have got several different outfits that I have chosen, glamorous ones and casuals ones, all for the photo shoot. Let us hope it is a good day tomorrow because I would love to have some pictures outside. I have just spank cleaned the whole of the house so at least that’s an advantage.

I think I am going to have to take another sleeping tablet, I can’t seem to rest my mind at the moment. Hopefully this will get me a good nights sleep and up at the crack of dawn to finish what I needed to complete in the first place, the cleaning, the filing and the outdoors.

23 May 2008: Day of Check Up's

Was woken up at 5am this morning with Princess yapping the newspapers had been delivered. I couldn't get back to sleep again I was anxious about today.

I got up about 6 o'clock, had a shower and got straight to work on the computer. I just had so much and there just isn't enough time in the day to do it all. Had a few good CV's come in though!

I left the house at 9.30am headed towards my mum's. I picked her up and we went straight t o Moorfields Eye Hospital. We parked outside Shoreditch Police Station and my cousin Alexander came out to see us. He has been working there for the past five years. Although I was late for my first appointment it was only a contact lenses check-up and I had even forgotten to bring them. I think what’s with everything that’s going on at the moment my mind seems to be all over the place.  I just keep forgetting everything.

Contact lenses check-up went fine. Mum and I went for sum lunch across the road and went back for my second appointment. This one was the main one. I went through my standard checkups and tests and was told that my eyesight (double vision) was most certainly improving. At one point when coming to these appointments, my eyesight just kept getting worse and worse but every time I went I dreaded seeing them. For a change I walk out of here with a smile on my face. the doctors said they weren’t 100% sure if I would ever get my vision back entirely but hey, If I have to put up with double vision on the occasions that I am tired or I have had a few too many drinks then I guess this is something I can cope with and at least now it’s not a visual thing to me my eye looks almost normal now (no squint).

After the appointment, we headed back towards the Police Station. Alexander had finished his shift and was having a couple of drinks in the pub garden with his work colleagues. Mum was her usual self dishing out the business cards and screaming out "Rent A Date For Charity, online auction dating site all proceeds go to charity. You lot better sign up today, my daughter did that!" (How embarrassing!) But hey it does work.

By the time I got home I was absolutely shattered, having worked till 2 o’clock in the morning last night and getting up so early it had taken its toll on me. I got a phone call from Mel asking me to go out with her for the night and although I was dying to go out I knew I needed a rest before hand.

Mel came round about 9.30pm; we got ready and headed out towards Enfield. We stayed in a bar until about 12 o’clock having had a few drinks already; I was dying to go out some more so we went The Maze Inn. Had a fantastic night, danced our socks off and done the usual routine of heading out to the kebab shop. In there we met a group of boys we had seen in the pub, they recognised us. We got talking and being my usual joking self, I did my cheap prank. I put a chip on the boys shoulder and dropped into the conversation "Cor, I tell you what, you've 'narf got a chip on your shoulder!"  Well, that was it! The whole kebab shop was shouting out, laughing. The poor boy was embarrassed but took it with good humour.

Got home, had a couple more beers and a giggle. I didn’t even get round to eating my kebab. I text Bobby and asked him to call me, never did I actually expect him to actually call. It was about 2am in the morning, the phone rang and we spent ages on the phone chatting to each other. Every time I speak to him I feel so happy, we’ve just got this amazing bond.

 

30 March 2008: Hike to Lagos

Ate breakfast then Zoe and I made our way to the group for our walk.  We made our way to Lagos via one of the biggest and steepest hill I’ve ever seen.  There were about 8 of us there.  Bobby (one of the reps) was around my age.  He was originally from Scotland and had come over only a couple of weeks ago to work here.  There were an American couple and a couple from London too.  All very pleasant people.  Ian (from London) was an IT guy and his wife was an American lady who loved to trek and often done cycling competitions around the UK.  The American guy came along on his own he had moved to the UK two years ago with his job working in pharmaceuticals.  I was literally climbing up this hill at one point it was so steep to think I even made it!  The views from the top were amazing I don’t think I’ve seen anything like this since living in Thailand.

 

We walked past a few photographers who showed us an eagle up in the sky they were capturing on camera.  Down below by the sea shaw we could see Dad and Isabelle wind surfing.

 

We eventually made it to Lagos and settled down for a refreshment.  By this time Bobby and I had become more acquainted.  He is a really sweet guy.  The beach in Lagos was to die for. It was like something out of paradise.

 

Finally we made our way back stopping to see the pictures of the eagle that had been taken.  It had caught a snake and was flying high in the sky with it in its mouth.  An amazing picture to see.  We headed back down to the beach and met dad and the kids.

 

As usual we headed back got ready then went for dinner.  The food was outstanding, don’t think I’ve ever eaten such good food on  a half board or all inclusive basis.  Paul, the restaurant manager invited me out that night to party with the staff.  After 2 drinks I was pissed!  Had a really good night out though ended up waling the street a few times and heading back to the local bar before we all decided to grab a taxi to Lagos.  Lagos was empty the only people in the bars we us.  We walked round a few before Paul and I headed back home.

A Well Deserved Break

Its 6am in the morning and I’m sitting in the departure lounge with my family waiting for our flight to Portugal.  I’m dosed up on Co-coda mole and my vix is at the ready.  I hate flying, since the tumour my left ear just cannot tolerate the pressure of flights or underwater diving.

We are all shattered but at the same time really excited about our trip.  This is the first family holiday I’ve ever been on with the Connell’s and I’m really looking forward to it.  Have to admit I’m feeling a little dubious what with my mood swings I’m worried I might cause a bit of a riot!  Unintended of course!

We arrive in Portugal around 10am I love the feeling of coming off the plane and the heat just hits you!.  Isabelle and I are over excited what with her cowboy hat and my bright pink sunglasses we look like a total bunch of tourists!  The coach journey was around an hour and we were taken to our apartment.

It was horrid.  To say the least like a typical self catering apartment all odd furniture and only enough hot water to cater for one shower!  The view was the only thing going for it.  It took about 20 minutes to walk to the beech but the scenery was to die for.

We are on a half board holiday with Mark Warner so to say we were not impressed would have been an understatement.  We made our way to the restaurant and settled down for a drink.  Dad & Zoe had been taken to view another apartment which was nearer the beach and the facilities.  Before I knew it we were being taken back to our apartment to pack up.  Well when I say I’ve never moved out so quick I wouldn’t be lying.  Between the 5 of us we managed to repack all our gear into our suitcases, lug them down the stairs and be ready for our pickup within 10 minutes. 

We got to our new apartment which was totally the opposite scale to the old one.  New dazzling future marble flooring two living rooms and bathrooms and secure windows!  We eventually made it back to the restaurant for dinner.

The way back to the apartment was the funniest thing ever.  It was pitch black and everyone forgot where we were staying, we ended up going round and round in circles only to realise the next day we were in inches of our front door!

29 March 2007: Day One in Portugal

Had the best sleep ever last night what with the travelling and non-stop moving around I finally managed to get a good night’s rest without the pills.

We made our way to the restaurant and had breakfast the food here is very good.

It was very overcast outside but never the less we made our way down to the beach.  Isabelle and Dad took out a wind surf it was the first time I’d seen them.  Zoe and I attempted to sunbath and shield ourselves from the wind not a patch of sun in sight!

By the time we got back to our apartment we showered and made our way back out for dinner.  The staff here at Mark Warner are so polite and very easy to talk to.  We had a bit of banter.  Then back home for an early night.